“We are afraid of the enormity of the possible.” Emil Cioran
This quote seems beyond a stunningly adequate place for me to start. The enormity of the possible. A weird place to start a blog, right? When I first saw this quote, it spoke to me in a way that defined the reluctance I’ve held for years to share my work beyond my inner circle.
At the end of summer, a hard-fought realization gave me the courage and self-permission (is that a word?) to make a drastic life shift back to my original and longstanding plan: to make my way as a full-time artist again. Since then, I’ve made some major internal shifts (you’ll probably hear about those, too, at some point) that have afforded me a great deal of creative clarity and courage – and started art making in a serious way again.
I’ve been reassured by a surprising amount of success these past months, as I’ve sort of recklessly immersed myself in creating, for my jewelry line, for my consulting clients and for myself. I’ve also had the great opportunities to volunteer to support online communities, and work with some great clients.
Nearly six months in, and I’ve had some time to reflect on how I want to move forward. That way for me, is to start doing all the little things that I have wanted to do, but never made the time or space to do.
But now, the shift is real. It’s time to move forward. I’m ready to step into the enormity of whatever it is that comes next.
This blog? One of those things. These posts are for me, first, as a place to organize my thoughts and be accountable to myself in making and sharing.
By sharing, I’m hoping that someone is encouraged to do something they are bizarrely reluctant but actually WANT to do – or a newer artist or creative business owner picks up some advice, a self-care practice, or a tool or a technique that serves them well.
Another quote, often overused: Start before you’re ready.
That’s exactly what I’m doing. Starting before I’m ready, shedding the armor. Staring into the enormity of the possible.
I hope you will, too. If you’ve got something that feels delightful, yet impossibly terrifying and it calls you again and again – do the thing.
For me, that thing is art… painting. I’ve been painting for as long as I can remember, went to college for it, and just picked it up again after nearly five years away – which is a story that you’ll have to come back later to hear.
The short of that story?
Beginning again was like coming home and being lost in a weird, unfamiliar place at the same time – at once, both oddly comforting and disorienting.
I have a feeling that if you’ve taken a step back from the creative thing that grounds you, and then returned to it after a time, you might be able to relate. For me, painting is that thing I’m always working my way back to. I paint to make sense of things, and I didn’t realize how much I was missing that way to work it all out until I started again.
Honestly, I love to try anything once, when it comes to art processes, and plan to share some of my experiments. And I’ll share my successes, too, and some techniques – and probably some of the things that don’t go as planned.
I’ll be talking about some of the experiences (both enlightening and disheartening) I’ve had as a small business owner, an artist, a yoga teacher and health educator. You’ll find tips for creative health and radical self-care – that I’ve picked up balancing working, creative life, new(ish) motherhood and as a life-long student over the past 20 or so years.
This blog is a way for me to be accountable in sharing what I know and what I make and offering some resources for those of us on the creative path.
I’d be dishonest if I told you I know exactly what is coming next for this project. I’m stepping into the enormity of it. The strange possibilities to explore with beginning something new are equal parts weird apprehension and unbridled excitement.